I get more than a little irritated at the parents whose kids are killed while committing crimes, who talk about what good kids they were. They try to blame everyone but their knucklehead kids, they file lawsuits, demand someone else be held accountable, or use their grief to try to deny the civil rights of gun owners or concealed carry permit holders. Perhaps they should start by looking in the mirror.
RTWT. You've seen the assorted news stories. Little Johnnie breaks into someones house and ends up at room temperature. The next thing you know, the little thugs family is telling us all what a good boy he was. How he went to church every Sunday and helped little old ladies across the street. And if they had been in trouble before, how they were turning their life around. A activity that seems to be fatal.
Responsible parents recognize their kids strengths and weaknesses and are honest about them. They are involved in their kids lives and watchful for signs of trouble. While we may wish that little Johnny or little Susie are good kids, parenting is more than wishful thinking. It’s hard work. It’s putting the needs of your children ahead of your own. It’s being the bad guy when necessary and not trying to be your kid’s best friend. It’s applying the Reaganesque strategy of trusting your kids, but verifying they are deserving of that trust.
When I was growing up, my parents were not my "friend", they wre my parents. When we malfunctioned, we were punished for it and lessons were learned. I did become friends with them after I had left home and spent almost 4 years in the Marines. Dad and I did things together and even went to the bar together. We had a great time. But behind it all, I had the respect for the job they did in my journey from boy to man. I've never robbed or killed anyone. I've never spent a night in jail. I owe that little feat to the fact that I had parents that actually parented.
It’s natural for parents to want to think the best of their kids. Most parents have blinders on with respect to their shortcomings. For some it’s driven by the desire to not be seen as bad parents. “I’m a good parent, so it has to be something else.” And when little Johnny does screw up and ends up dead, it’s natural for parents to look for anything to blame.Anything except little Johnny. Or themselves.